This is what failure looks like. This is what failure feels like. The process of letting the slippery slop of head banging against the wall, that's what failure feels like. That feeling of full emptiness, of ridiculous anger, against everything. Can't be helped, it just can't be helped. Being always so fucking angry at everything. Angry at all the others around, because they can't match up. Nothing matches up, no one, nothing is ever good enough. Just everything failing at once. Because I'm failing, and failing again, and I can't even begin to explain it, because I don't know how to. How do I fucking explain this? I can't even understand it, it doesn't ever make any sort of small sense in my own mind. My own, small, failing mind. The roads off it are just crumbling at the civil war, and nothing is matching up. No words.